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Fear, the finest counsellor you could wish for!

It was 6 a.m. at a cold, bleak and deserted metro station in Paris. I was twenty, and waiting for the metro that would take me to work, when an unpleasant man appeared from nowhere and whispered something inaudibly to me in French. My body froze in fear. My instincts told me to get away, and I rushed towards the stairs. Fortunately, a woman had just arrived. The man sped off, leaving me gasping with relief.

 

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What do woman really want?

I grew up in the Netherlands with a commercial slogan that was current at the time: ‘Every smart girl prepares herself well for her future’. This caused me to do all I could to become an intelligent, strong and independent woman. Consequently, I dispelled all notions of me needing love and affection as being hopelessly romantic. Instead I learned to set goals, make plans and take action. This worked for a while, until I started feeling tired, drained and exhausted. Slowly, I began to doubt everything I had learned about ‘strong women’, and then I discovered what women really want.

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Be yourself effortlessly

Many years ago, I read that if I surrendered to life, I would do everything with the greatest of ease. The right people and circumstances would arrive at the right moment, enabling me to do things effortlessly. Yet, although I did my very best to surrender to life, my life was everything but effortless.

 

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